It’s Ok To Be Behind - Make A Point To Catch Up

If you are reading this in real time, you, like the rest of the world know, that last night was the Super Bowl.  Seeing as our family is not a big sports family, the games leading up to the big game typically are not part of our normal viewing repertoire, but as a family we typically make a point to watch the Super Bowl, if only for the commercials.

This year we were invited to some friends house along with another couple, and we along with the kids watched the game running commentary on not just the game, but the commercials as well.    

Although there are many who will attempt to analyze the game failing to recognize the high level of skill and talent the players, coaches and other staff have in reaching that level of success, I thought it important to focus on what I think is a takeaway we all can learn from and challenge ourselves with.

At halftime, both teams left the field with one leading the other on the scoreboard.  Based on first half play, it was obvious the losing team was struggling to get their game sorted out as the other team dominated.  

Obviously I, along with all of you, where not in the locker rooms during halftime, but I am pretty confident the following two conversations took place.  For the team leading at the half, the discussion centered around keeping up what was being done, and not let your guard down and become overconfident in what had already occurred.

For me, the conversation that took place in the other locker room though it what I want to focus on for a minute here.  No one wants to be losing, certainly not in the biggest game of the year.  But here is a fact, it is not uncommon to find yourself in a situation, be it at work, life, or with family, where you feel like you are behind and others are winning where you struggle.

May I ask you a question?  

What did you do at those times to make corrections to your plan so that you eventually came out ahead?

Within the context of sports, the coach on the team behind at the half most likely spoke to the team suggesting that each player reflect on the actions, plays, and movements made during the prior half, and seek ways to change their own response so that their individual play could effect positive change on the team as a whole.

We all know the team leading at the half did not exit the locker room intending to lose, their goal was to keep hold of and maintain the strides already made and add to it.  Life has a funny way of moving the expected outcome and surprising everyone though.  

Coming from behind and winning at that which you have set out to do is always great thing.  Sometimes being behind is enough of a motivator to help you pull ahead.  

This week, the challenge is simple.  Identify an area of your life that you feel like you are not currently winning at, and start laying out some plans to change that outcome.  Here is what I know for sure.  Just like the team that was behind at the half, they emerged from the locker room with a plan to win.  While I know you won’t always win at everything, when you choose to tackle that item you will make strides that has you coming out ahead in the end, even if you do not ultimately win.  Speaking from experience, I know that those strides will impact your life for the positive and make you, a better you.

So go ahead, the pep talk is over, halftime has concluded.  Get back out there on the field and start your journey to win.

*****

Personal Success Coach is pleased to offer coaching packages starting at $299 per month.  Each session is intentional and deliberately designed with you in mind to address the issues important to you taking you from where you are in life to where you want to be.

Have The Best Day

Maybe it is because I was afforded an opportunity to take a few days off simply to relax and recharge, that I now find myself with a new sense of urgency and desire to accomplish even greater things than I thought possible.  Rest has a peculiar way of offering that to those who choose to adopt the model, and although finding the time to truly rest and recharge gets harder and harder the busier one gets, being intentional about finding that time pays dividends in all aspects of life.

One of the big takeaways I discovered during my down time, was the idea of tackling everyday and truly making it a ‘best day’.  The idea is not my own, rather a pull quote from an interview of someone on some channel I happened to have landed on during the aforementioned rest period.  I really liked the way it was presented however, and immediately knew it was something that needed to be shared with you.

Years ago, long before kids, my wife and I resided in California.  At the time, we attended a church that was experiencing a season of growth and change as it merged with another church, and with that merge, systems, procedures, staff, and all the other logistical items that go into a merger was on full display for the congregation to view as the process initiated and ultimately completed.

The new pastor who took over during that change would routinely discuss his morning habits, offering insight in to how his day-to-day was began.  He told those who would listen, that his day began in prayer, certainly not a bad start to anyones day, and certainly something that if you are not doing, I would encourage you to start at once.  But more than that, he stated that as part of that daily process, he would recite the following, “This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice, and be glad in it.”  Of course, for those of you who have been in the church environment for more than a few minutes, might recognize that as a Psalm, Psalm 118:24 to be exact.

I love that messaging though, it is extremely powerful, and a springboard that can be used to set up a truly ‘best day’ experience.  The strength of the statement comes from, first and foremost, acknowledging that we, you, me, had nothing to do with the fact that we are fortunate enough to wake up and get to live life for another day.  It addresses the fact that God, and God alone made that decision.

Taking that idea a step further, once we recognize that we had nothing to do with getting to have another day, the proclamation states that, “I will rejoice, I will be glad in it.”  Hey, you woke up, you get another chance, be happy about it, embrace it, own it, make it the best day you can possible make it.

Here is what I know.  No matter how bad yesterday was, today is a day that can be better than the last.  Think about that for a minute.  No matter what terrible thing may have occurred, no matter what bad circumstance you may have found yourself in, no matter what hurdle you may have thought was standing in the way - today is new, and you are afforded the opportunity to tackle it afresh and anew.  

I do not know about you, but for me that is some pretty powerful stuff that should not be taken lightly.  In fact, if that does not give you hope and encouragement, perhaps there is something wrong with you.  

Perhaps you are on the flip side of that equation, fortunate to not currently facing any monumental challenges, life is good right now.  First off, great.  I celebrate life with you and am pleased that you currently find yourself in a good place and enjoying what is going on within your life.  Stop, give thanks, rejoice in the fact that you get another chance at creating a ‘best day’.  

Being intentional about creating opportunity for each and everyday to be lived as a ‘best day’ positions you to not only enhance your own life, but the lives of those around you within your sphere of influence.  In other words, tackling life in this manner has exponential effects on others, and your desire to make each day a ‘best day’ spills over into the lives of others creating a better world for all.

So here is the challenge this week and beyond.  Make each day a best day.  It sounds simple, and truth be told, it really is, but if it seems hard or impossible given the life events you currently find yourself a part of, take a minutes and simply repeat the Psalm my pastor in California recites everyday.

“This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice, and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24

Knowing that the words you speak have power, I promise you in speaking those words you will truly begin the process of making everyday you are fortunate enough to have left a best day that you and those around you will enjoy.

*****

Personal Success Coach is pleased to offer coaching packages starting at $299 per month.  Each session is intentional and deliberately designed with you in mind to address the issues important to you taking you from where you are in life to where you want to be.

Resolution Requires Change

Can we get honest with each other for a few minutes?  I really like this time of year.  Not the cold weather, but the wind down of one year and the ramp up to another.  Christmas is behind us, New Years is upon us, and with that a season of reflecting back on what was, and seeking to establish new routines for what will be.

I always find it laughable when one banters on about resolutions they are making.  Sadly, it normally does not take more than a few days to have those resolutions pushed off into next year, a seeming abyss that in reality gets further and further away, the older one gets.

The best laid plans often lead to nothing absent a plan to make them work.  New Years resolutions are great ideas that rarely turn into change, and I for one think that is a shame.

The dictionary defines the root word of resolution, resolute, as follows:

Resolute - adjective - admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering

I like the sound of those words, if you failed to recognize it, those my friend are powerbroker words.  Admirable, purposeful, determined, unwavering.  

I don’t know about you, but those are words I want others to use when describing me.

But can I rock your world and thought process for a moment and suggest something.  In most cases, those probably are not the words used to describe you, are they?

Here is the thing. Resolution requires change.  Change is hard.  Complacency is always the easier path.  And before you know it, this new year will be over and you will be right back where you started.

Good ideas coupled with great intention that fails to garner results.

Might I be so bold as to suggest an alternative this year?  What would it take for you to actually make a resolution, and commit to it fully and see it to fruition so that it becomes a new normal in your life.

The experts suggest that new things take 2-3 weeks to become new habits.  In other words, if your resolution this year is to join (or return) to the gym, it will take 2-3 weeks of you being intentional about that for it to become a new normal.  If that resolution is giving up something, perhaps smoking or unhealthy food, it will take 2-3 weeks of not consuming those items for that new norm to develop.

Remember, I told you ahead of time that change is hard.  Real, life changing, course correcting change requires sacrifice and a commitment to establish a new normal that will in turn define the life you want to live.

I get it, it is not a lot of fun, and initially it will not be easy.  But if I know anything I know this, nothing in life worth doing is ever going to be easy.  And if you suck it up and recognize that it will take several weeks for these new habits to develop, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

So the challenge this week is really quite simple.  Rather than a flippant remark about what you are resolving to do in the upcoming new year, why not spend some time challenging yourself with the things you’d really like to see accomplished, and set some goals that see you living your life to its fullest not only in this upcoming year, but for years to come.

I promise you that the reward far outweighs the sacrifice, and to me, that sure does seem like a good resolution.

*****

Personal Success Coach is pleased to offer coaching packages starting at $299 per month.  Each session is intentional and deliberately designed with you in mind to address the issues important to you taking you from where you are in life to where you want to be.

Success Is More Fun Shared

Have you ever made it to the top?  Perhaps you are not sure of what I am referring to.  Have you ever made it to the top, the pinnacle of success, the peak of perhaps a career, or a life long accomplishment.  Those are the sort of ‘tops’ I am referring to.  So let me pose the question again, have you ever made it there?

Humor me, and allow me to ask another question.  When you got to the top, did you feel alone or were you surrounded by those who helped achieve that success that you now celebrate?

For me, it is a timely topic.  I recently had the opportunity to be a part of celebrating a friends success.  I, along with hundreds of other people all played a small role in their success, but in seeing them achieve that goal I can’t help but be proud to have been allowed to be a part of the process.

Success is awesome, and it is something we all seek.  Success alone however is hollow and lacks the substance that success shared with others brings.  The fact is, very rarely will a person achieve success all by themselves.  It is inevitable that many people played roles that allowed you to accomplish the things you want to accomplish.

I for one have been on both sides of that equation.  I have been fortunate to celebrate success with those who helped me achieve my goals, but likewise I have been involved as others sought the success desired for their life.

The amazing thing is both circumstances offer such fulfillment in life.  As I left the event that celebrated my friends success, I was honestly filled with pride and a true sense of accomplishment knowing that my bit role was important to the much larger picture.

Inversely, reflecting back I know that my successes in life would not have come were it not for the sacrifice and support of others invested in me and the vision outlined.  

As humans, we were not designed to do life alone.  Life is much better in community, and success simply comes as a byproduct of that community.  Are you connected in community?  Perhaps the better question might be, are you connected in community and working towards a common goal that will see you or others achieve success?

The challenge is really quite simple.  If you are the one seeking success in an area of life, embrace those that are there to support you.  And when you accomplish that item, recognize those that helped and share your joy with them.

Likewise, if you are part of someone else’s journey, embrace that time and put your all into it.  Be the person they need you to be, and do not be afraid to celebrate with them when they accomplish the item set out to be conquered.

I promise you, when you tackle life in that manner, life will reward you and truly make your life lived fuller and more complete.  And in the end, that helps to define success, no matter where you are at in your life right now.

*****

Personal Success Coach is pleased to offer coaching packages starting at $299 per month.  Each session is intentional and deliberately designed with you in mind to address the issues important to you taking you from where you are in life to where you want to be.

Stop And Reflect

Every year, this week causes people to take a moment and stop and reflect back, ideally with the intent of being thankful and grateful for the things in your life.  Truth be told, to some the actual act of thankfulness may seem cliche, but I think that attitude is not only wrong, but extremely flawed.

During this past year, I made a new friend who really forced me into a position of having to be thankful for what I have, but more importantly the sacrifice others have made on my behalf that allows me to have what I have.

My friends name is Tony, and although a few years my senior, we are close enough in age that others would simply assume we are about the same age.  What Tony exudes in terms of service and sacrifice causes me to pause and recognize how good I have had it, and how lucky I have been.

Tony enlisted in the Army at a young age.  As I was walking across the stage at my high school graduation, Tony was boots on the ground in a foreign country fighting a war to help liberate others under the repressive thumb of dictatorship. 

What breaks my heart is the fact that Tony was injured, he suffered, and although now fully retired from active duty, the scars and injuries endured in service continue to this day.

What causes me to stop and reflect is this simple fact.  When I woke up each morning during the last 25 years, my typical focus was on my family, my friends, and ways to conquer the world.  Tony’s perspective is quite different serving strangers in a far away land, and hoping and praying that he would be safe and make it back to his bunk (or worse) and the end of each day.  

Tony is not alone, we all have a Tony in our life that served in a role few can imagine, but many have endured.

I’m thankful for Tony this Thanksgiving season, but more important I’m thankful for people just like Tony, who willingly volunteered on my behalf, to keep our country the best it can be, serving in places I hope I never have to go, facing enemies that would keep most of us awake at night.

Tony has the scars and injuries that he wears as a badge of honor.  There is no regret from Tony as to his service.  Quite to the contrary, I have seen that servants heart extended into a civilian role as Tony reenters a world I’m quite familiar with, but one that he is learning and now finding his role and way to serve others.

Tony may never strap body armor on again, or use a machine gun to serve, but the weapons he now uses to serve are much more powerful, his voice, his story, and his example.  

This week, as you gather around your dinner table complaining about your family that you can’t stand, or the things you think are wrong.  Take a minute and reflect back on the Tony’s you know in your life.  I for one will have Tony and his family sitting across from us as we break bread together, enjoy some really good food, and dine in the company of friends and family.

Being thankful and grateful is a powerful tool that helps put perspective on life.  I promise you, no matter how bad you think you have it, there is always someone else that wishes they could be you.  Thankfully, because of the service of people just like Tony, you and I have the freedom and opportunities we have, and I for one can tell you, you really don’t have it that bad.

Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours.

*****

Personal Success Coach is pleased to offer coaching packages starting at $299 per month.  Each session is intentional and deliberately designed with you in mind to address the issues important to you taking you from where you are in life to where you want to be.

The Disfunction of Family

It may not be funny, but it sure is true.  It is said you can pick your friends, but you cannot pick your family.  I think if we are all honest, there is a lot of that statement we all can relate to.  Even if you are not honest about this, I will be honest.  

Sadly, I come from a family, that much like EVERYONE ELSES has high degrees of disfunction on some level or another.  I state this to point out that you, are not alone.  You, like me, are in a boat that many people share.

It is interesting however how different people deal with and handle the disfunction that exists within their own lives.

This past weekend saw a family reunion of sorts occur in my neck of the woods.  Truth be told, it has been, and continues to be a really fun event.  The issue lies in the fact that one of my parents remains bitter and hostile towards the other, thirty years after the divorce occurred.  

It is as if they are each others kryptonite.  Because of this, it is just best that that parent simply not be alerted or advised should the other one be in town.  It is just that simple.  

Or at least should be.  

To me, it is simply childish behavior stemming from events of a bygone era.  To put it into perspective, these events occurred at a time and place wherein most people had a landline phone, if, and the key word is, IF, they had a cell phone, they wanted it to flip because that is what the status symbol of the day was.  BMW 3-Series still sold more manuals than automatics, and heck, you can’t even get a manual 3-Series anymore since they only sell automatics.

You get the picture, A LONG TIME AGO.

The fact is, there is actually a lesson that can be extracted from the events of this weekend and the relationships that still cause stress on others.

Are you ready for it?

Here goes…

GET OVER IT.

You heard me.  GET OVER IT.  The fact is, life is way too short to hold on to the things that make you mad or upset.  I get it, relationships break, and sometimes even lead to divorce.  And sure, one side or the other may be baffled in the reality that that now brings, but the fact is.  Life goes on, and so should you.

I write this, perhaps more so for me and my family, than for you and yours.  But the fact is, in life I think we all tend to hold on to stuff more than we should and by doing so we introduce disfunction into our lives and the world we live in.

And for what?

If you, and I, are truly honest with ourselves.  It accomplishes NOTHING except creating stress in our lives and the lives of those we love and enjoy doing life with.   Worse, if you hold on to it long enough, and banter, and rant, and rave, and complain, and dissent as often as I have seen some do, guess what?  Others do not enjoy being around you.

No, there was no Kum Ba Ya moment this weekend between my parents, nor should there have been.  What should have occurred is adults acting like adults and simply getting along because it is the right thing to do, regardless of past grievances, right, wrong or indifferent.

But that is OK, because you, like me, have the option to not only learn from those past mistake, but to do better within our own lives and families and seek ways not to repeat those mistakes.

Yes, you, and you alone have the ability to effect change in your life and the lives around you.  I don’t know about you, but for me, that just seems to make more sense that the alternative.  

So here is the challenge this week, and it is in fact a very simple one.  If there are areas in your life that you are carrying baggage, rather than continue to carry that baggage.  Why not resolve it, let it go, put it behind you, and move on with your life choosing to look forward versus constantly looking back.

This much I know.  You, like me may have disfunction floating around within your world, but like me, you can choose not to allow it to affect the life you live, and the life you want for your loved ones and friends.  

*****

Personal Success Coach is pleased to offer coaching packages starting at $299 per month.  Each session is intentional and deliberately designed with you in mind to address the issues important to you taking you from where you are in life to where you want to be.

Everyone Is A Success At Something

Let’s face it, we all know the person in our lives who is in a constant state of chaos.  Every time you encounter them, it is only a matter of minutes before the drama starts.  The complete rundown of everything going wrong, and the list of those who wronged them.  The never ending pity party of failure and distress.

You know the person(s) in your life, I know the people who fit that bill in my life.  Truth be told, I try to avoid them like the plague.  I cringe when I see their name popup on my caller ID, I squirm when meeting them in public.  To add a little bit of humor too in person meetings, I will go out of my way to excuse myself leaving my wife or others there to listen while I move on to other things.

I just do not have time to listen as they regurgitate their life issues, over and over and over again.  It grows old, we all grow weary, and if we are truly honest, often times we probably ponder the age old question, why won’t they make a change.

Here though, lies the most unfortunate truth with those people.

THEY ARE SUCCEEDING IN LIFE!

You heard me, they are truly a success in life.  They have succeeded at choosing to lead a life that has something or someone to blame for the current predicament they are in.  And within that context hides the lesson I think we all can embrace and apply to our own lives.

You (and I) will succeed at something in life.  We may succeed by being successful, we may succeed by failing.  But guess what, either way, success has occurred.

I know some awfully successful failures.  No, I am not talking about those who have failed, picked themselves up and tried again achieving the success they were seeking.  

Nope, the kind of success I am referring to is the person who constantly is in a state of failure in their lives.  Technically speaking, they have succeeded at what they set out to do.  If success is consistently doing things right to achieve an outcome - then failing all the time at everything tried is a success in and of itself.

Imagine living life being known as successful for failing.  

And yet, we all know people who fall under this definition.  People who allow life, or the events of their life, to dictate the path their life follows.  People who use those events as the catalyst to not effect change, thereby failing in whatever they try.

Around my house, the word ‘can’t’ is equivalent to a cuss word.  It is a word that I find so self-destructive as it contains within it a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I tell my kids all the time, “when you say you can’t do something, you will succeed at that statement.”  I can’t is the opposite of I can, and I can is the springboard that successful people use to make their lives one that effects change in those around them, and in some cases, the world around them.

Circling back to the opening salvo this week, in identifying those you know who live their life in a constant state of excuse thereby creating an environment that they continually succeed at failing, let me ask you if that is the way you want to live life?  

My guess would be, “No,” I for one know that I may not always succeed at that which I try, but the success comes from trying, learning, and applying to future endeavors.

This week be intentional about surrounding yourself with people, who like you, choose to succeed in life.  Be open and receptive to not only sharing your secrets to success, but listening as they shares theirs with you.

Anyone can makes excuses, choose instead to make successes.

*****

Personal Success Coach is pleased to offer coaching packages starting at $299 per month.  Each session is intentional and deliberately designed with you in mind to address the issues important to you taking you from where you are in life to where you want to be.

Exchanging “F” Words

Not that I have a lot of free time, because I really do not, but in the few moments of time that I allow myself to relax and focus on other things that really add no value of my life, I have become a somewhat frequent visitor to the website TMZ.  It’s like reading the headlines of all the scandalous tablet newspapers that adorn every checkout lane in every market in America, but just digitized and brought to life on screen.

One of the frequent stories recently has centered around Kanye West and his apparent transition to faith in Jesus Christ.  What started as a weekly service, appropriately titled Sunday Service, Kanye has immersed himself in the Christian culture and lifestyle, publicly professing his faith in Jesus speaking about it when and where he is afforded the opportunity.

Having made his wealth in a lot of different industries, but music being the first that propelled him into other opportunities, I cannot help but suggest that he has replaced the “F” word that has been part of his music with a new “F” word, Faith.

Change is hard, transforming change even harder.  And within that I think a lesson emerges that is applicable to us all.  Knowing and understanding that change is hard is the first step to embracing the things in life we want to change.

Sadly, our biggest critics and staunchest opponents are those we typically spend the most time with, be it family, friends or coworkers.  Taking a large step to effect change in your life often times is met with those same folks we confide in who either in secret, or to your face, openly root against the success in change that you seek.

Kanye West has been met with a lot of skepticism and critics that question his transformation and decisions for his life.  He, like us, have a choice.  We can allow those words, thoughts and perceptions to speak into us and allow those to be the reason we fail.  Or, we can choose to ignore those negative influences and succeed at the changes we want to make.

Here’s the thing.  Whether we acknowledge it or not, we all are changing.  Not a single one of us stays stagnate throughout life.  Change is all around, some good, some bad.  

When a person chooses to embrace change that effects life for the positive, it has the ability to course correct not only your own life, but those around you.  Making those bold statements and then following through with them creates opportunities that allow for real, transformational life change.

I for one do not think that change is a bad thing, and positive change applied to ones life is even better.

Kanye West has had a transformation in his life.  He is seeking to redraw the lines and boundaries that defined who he was.  He is taking his journey, using his influence, and sharing with anyone who will listen, how his life has been changed and the effect it has had on him.

Granted, not all of us have the social sphere of influence that Kanye has, but let me ask you this.  Who, within your sphere, would your change effect?

If you started making change in your own life today, I can almost guarantee that those changes will have a ripple effect with those around you.  That change you make may not be life transformational like Kanye West in terms of embracing faith and relationship with the creator of the universe, but those changes still will have an impact on your life and those around you.

This morning as I prepared to write, my son and I watched the movie trailer for Jesus is King, a movie that Kanye West has put together as his journey develops and evolves.  I couldn’t help but think to myself how faith has replaced that other “F” word and is creating opportunities to impact the hearts, minds and lives of others.  

I want to be like Kanye, I want the changes I make in life to impact others.  My encouragement this week is simple, be an agent for change in your life and those lives you impact.  

*****

Personal Success Coach is pleased to offer coaching packages starting at $299 per month.  Each session is intentional and deliberately designed with you in mind to address the issues important to you taking you from where you are in life to where you want to be.