Don't Live Life Looking Backwards

In the past few years, both my sister along with two of my wife's sisters have lost their husbands at a much too early age.  Although the circumstances between each is different, for some unknown reason I was thinking about the ways each has dealt with the loss, and from that a lesson we all can learn from emerged.

What this weeks Monday Morning Minute is not, is a suggestion of how a person can deal with their loss.  I am taking some artistic license here and using the loss of a loved one or husband as the catalyst to start a train of thought, in this case using  the loss as a picture and illustration.

Here is the thing I know, we have all faced loss, and not just the loss of a loved one.  We have lost at home, we have lost at work or school, we have loss when it comes to the things we set out to do.  The lesson I think exists here is what those next steps look like, and how we deal with them.

When my sister lost her husband a few years ago, she was an absolute wreck.  Our hearts broke as she went through the grieving process, in her case, it involved using reference material that told her what she should be feeling at various weeks past the initial loss.  

In one hard conversation she commented that she did not know how she would be able to move on.  I remember during that conversation making the comment to her, that her husband would not want her to stop living, and that the best way she could honor his memory is in being the best you, she could possibly be.

I think that notion extends to many other aspects of life.  All of us have faced failure or setback in life.  My question to you is this, how did you deal with it.

Did you fold up, give up, gather up, and head home, tail between your legs.  Or did you embrace what was learned and face that challenge again another day?

Did you use that failure as the reason why the next time you tried something, you were better situated to succeed at what you set out to accomplish?

Did you vow to never do the things you did that caused the hurt, and find a way to not only learn from it, but apply it to future endeavors?

If we as humans allow the past to define us, we miss out on all the future holds for us.  If, instead of looking forward each and everyday to a bright new future, we spend the days looking over our shoulder at what once was, there is a whole lot of life we will end up missing out on.

Here is what really brought this full circle for me.  Imagine if you will, a time in the not so distant future, where you find yourself reunited again with that lost loved one, or the failure that so succinctly kicked your butt.  What would you report back at that time as to what was done to accomplish great things.

Perhaps I am being flippant or insensitive to those who have lost loved ones, but the truth is, I think I am being quite the opposite.  The greatest way you honor past experience is succeeding at future experiences, and constantly looking over your shoulder at a past that gets further and further away every waking minute means you will miss out on your next chapter.

If this lesson does not apply to you, I am sorry.  But for me, the greatest honor I can give or do to that which defined me in the past is to simply succeed at what I have in front of me.  And not just succeed, but succeed in a brilliant way that exceeds your wildest expectations.

*****

Personal Success Coach is pleased to offer coaching packages starting at $299 per month.  Each session is intentional and deliberately designed with you in mind to address the issues important to you taking you from where you are in life to where you want to be.

Coloring Outside The Lines

Have you ever heard someone tell you that they like to color outside the lines?  It is an interesting word picture, and personally speaking as someone who always hated coloring in general, staying within the lines always seemed boring to me.  Of course, as an adult, I spend no time coloring, but in recent years there has been a renaissance of sorts with multiple adult coloring markets coming to market to rekindle that creative spark of a child past.

During the past few weeks I have heard several different people use the line, ‘color outside the lines’, and although each time I heard it the context had some similarities, the reasons given for, ‘coloring outside the lines’ was drastically different, but challenging.

What does it mean to color outside the lines?  In the simplest sense, it is a cliched way to suggest either breaking the rules, or expressing creativity, or being non-conforming in a particular area of life.  In the grand scheme of things, I really do not think any of those things are bad in and of themselves, but I also think that a value can emerge if the action is done effectively and with intention.

Some of my biggest breakthroughs have come as a result of challenging a convention or prior protocol.  The phrase, we do it that way because that is how we have always done it, in my opinion, is toxic both to the individual as well as the organization.  It is within those times that finding a new way to do things is not only needed, but necessary.  

Granted, it does not always have to be ground shaking change, but having the tenacity to suggest new methods to the process not only invites innovation, often times it will serve as a catalyst for change with others as well.

I remember years ago Hewlett-Packard ran a series of commercials that ended with the tagline, “What if?”  The idea is so simple, and yet so profound, that even to this day, the notion resonates with me and serves as a de facto question within multiple roles that I find myself in.

What if we can do things differently?

What if we try that process another way?

What if we identify ways to make things more efficient?

The “what if” question lends itself to so many different areas of life, but more than that, in asking the question you yourself start to color outside the lines.  Offering up a challenge that leads to positive change is always a good thing, and often times that change will impact the lives of those who fall under the changes made.

I don’t know about you, but I see that as a good thing.  Perhaps coloring outside the lines serves a purpose other than being a fancy catch phrase tossed around when bantering with others in the office.

Regardless of what you call it, creating opportunities for change is something I am always on the lookout for.  The challenge this week is to find ways to effect change within your sphere of influence.  Maybe someday others will refer to you as a person who colors outside the lines.

*****

Personal Success Coach is pleased to offer coaching packages starting at $299 per month.  Each session is intentional and deliberately designed with you in mind to address the issues important to you taking you from where you are in life to where you want to be.

Have The Best Day

Maybe it is because I was afforded an opportunity to take a few days off simply to relax and recharge, that I now find myself with a new sense of urgency and desire to accomplish even greater things than I thought possible.  Rest has a peculiar way of offering that to those who choose to adopt the model, and although finding the time to truly rest and recharge gets harder and harder the busier one gets, being intentional about finding that time pays dividends in all aspects of life.

One of the big takeaways I discovered during my down time, was the idea of tackling everyday and truly making it a ‘best day’.  The idea is not my own, rather a pull quote from an interview of someone on some channel I happened to have landed on during the aforementioned rest period.  I really liked the way it was presented however, and immediately knew it was something that needed to be shared with you.

Years ago, long before kids, my wife and I resided in California.  At the time, we attended a church that was experiencing a season of growth and change as it merged with another church, and with that merge, systems, procedures, staff, and all the other logistical items that go into a merger was on full display for the congregation to view as the process initiated and ultimately completed.

The new pastor who took over during that change would routinely discuss his morning habits, offering insight in to how his day-to-day was began.  He told those who would listen, that his day began in prayer, certainly not a bad start to anyones day, and certainly something that if you are not doing, I would encourage you to start at once.  But more than that, he stated that as part of that daily process, he would recite the following, “This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice, and be glad in it.”  Of course, for those of you who have been in the church environment for more than a few minutes, might recognize that as a Psalm, Psalm 118:24 to be exact.

I love that messaging though, it is extremely powerful, and a springboard that can be used to set up a truly ‘best day’ experience.  The strength of the statement comes from, first and foremost, acknowledging that we, you, me, had nothing to do with the fact that we are fortunate enough to wake up and get to live life for another day.  It addresses the fact that God, and God alone made that decision.

Taking that idea a step further, once we recognize that we had nothing to do with getting to have another day, the proclamation states that, “I will rejoice, I will be glad in it.”  Hey, you woke up, you get another chance, be happy about it, embrace it, own it, make it the best day you can possible make it.

Here is what I know.  No matter how bad yesterday was, today is a day that can be better than the last.  Think about that for a minute.  No matter what terrible thing may have occurred, no matter what bad circumstance you may have found yourself in, no matter what hurdle you may have thought was standing in the way - today is new, and you are afforded the opportunity to tackle it afresh and anew.  

I do not know about you, but for me that is some pretty powerful stuff that should not be taken lightly.  In fact, if that does not give you hope and encouragement, perhaps there is something wrong with you.  

Perhaps you are on the flip side of that equation, fortunate to not currently facing any monumental challenges, life is good right now.  First off, great.  I celebrate life with you and am pleased that you currently find yourself in a good place and enjoying what is going on within your life.  Stop, give thanks, rejoice in the fact that you get another chance at creating a ‘best day’.  

Being intentional about creating opportunity for each and everyday to be lived as a ‘best day’ positions you to not only enhance your own life, but the lives of those around you within your sphere of influence.  In other words, tackling life in this manner has exponential effects on others, and your desire to make each day a ‘best day’ spills over into the lives of others creating a better world for all.

So here is the challenge this week and beyond.  Make each day a best day.  It sounds simple, and truth be told, it really is, but if it seems hard or impossible given the life events you currently find yourself a part of, take a minutes and simply repeat the Psalm my pastor in California recites everyday.

“This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice, and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24

Knowing that the words you speak have power, I promise you in speaking those words you will truly begin the process of making everyday you are fortunate enough to have left a best day that you and those around you will enjoy.

*****

Personal Success Coach is pleased to offer coaching packages starting at $299 per month.  Each session is intentional and deliberately designed with you in mind to address the issues important to you taking you from where you are in life to where you want to be.

We All Will Be Forgotten Soon Enough

A couple of weeks ago I turned on the television to catch a news segment that had Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch as the featured guest.  Seeing as justices on the Supreme Court are not routine commentators in the daily news cycle, I watched with great interest as the interviewer ran through a gamut of topics, but there was one statement made that really struck me, and even though I was sitting in traffic, and in the state where I live using a cell phone is against the law, I quickly grabbed my phone and sent my self a quick e-mail to remind me of what was said with the intent to expand on the idea here.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, that time to expand has arrived, and this week I want to jump into the idea presented and see if I can’t develop it a bit further and draw out application that we can use in our own lives.

Justice Gorsuch introduced the idea that, we all will be forgotten soon enough.  I think what most impacted me about that statement was the person delivering it.  Whether you are aware of it or not, but being appointed to the Supreme Court is not only a unique and rare opportunity, but one that comes with a lifetime appointment.  As such, much like the presidency or other high positions, there simply are not that many people across a long spectrum of time, who ever achieve that status, and as such remembering those folks really is not that difficult.

However, he suggests that we all will be forgotten soon enough.  The wisdom in that statement is profound, and in almost all cases factual.  We all have known people who have passed on, and yet how often are those people brought back up in conversation?  I know for me personally, despite the numerous folks I have known who are no longer here, with the exception of one, I really do not reflect back on those folks.  As a side note, I have taken to adding their date of passing in my phone, refusing to delete their info, so that from time to time when scrolling my contacts, I see their names and are reminded, at least for a brief moment, of them and their role in my life.

But let’s circle back to the idea at hand though.  Would it be wrong of me to suggest, that if we all will be forgotten soon enough, that we spend out time that we have doing things that will work to prolong that legacy?

As I pondered this subject, I routinely went back to my own phone, and the list of those whom I had known who are no longer here.  It really did not take long to realize a trend.  The one person on that list who routinely comes up in conversation, is in fact a person whose legacy affected not only my own life, but the lives of many.  The fact is, in the case of that person, his time spent living was done in such a way as to truly impact those he did life with.  In passing, those who knew him realized a tremendous loss that extended far beyond the typical grief and pain felt when one loses someone they care about.

I don’t know about you, but for me that is a pretty powerful thought, but one that I want to embrace and apply to my own life.  Are the things I’m doing with the ones I’m doing life with making an impact that will be felt long after I’m gone from this earth?  Am I living my life for me, or am I living my life in such a way as to speak into the lives of others investing into those people so as to make their lives better as well.

In other words, am I living for me, or am I living in such a way as to leave a legacy that lasts far beyond my time here on earth.

I will be honest, I do not know the answer to that question.  I would like to think the answer is, “Yes”, but the truth is, I really do not know, and I probably will not know as that question will not get fully answered until a time long after I am no longer here.

I think the challenge, at least for me, is pretty clear.  I need to make sure that the time I have here on earth is spent making the lives of those I do life with, better.  Is that a challenge you might be up to as well?  

My objective is to find ways to speak into the lives of others, whether that is an investment of time, talent or something else, embracing those opportunities I firmly believe will help make the world I live in better, and I trust in doing so will make the lives I am fortunate enough to touch better as well.

Does that mean I’ll be remembered when I am gone?  I really do not know.  But until I am gone, I will be intentional about making choices that seek to accomplish that goal.  I do not for a second think the goal is easy, but then again nothing in life worth doing is easy.

And who knows, maybe the time it takes to forget me will take longer than others, and the lives I impact in turn choose to impact lives that they come into contact with.

Seems simple enough, doesn’t it?

*****

Personal Success Coach is pleased to offer coaching packages starting at $299 per month.  Each session is intentional and deliberately designed with you in mind to address the issues important to you taking you from where you are in life to where you want to be.

Resolution Requires Change

Can we get honest with each other for a few minutes?  I really like this time of year.  Not the cold weather, but the wind down of one year and the ramp up to another.  Christmas is behind us, New Years is upon us, and with that a season of reflecting back on what was, and seeking to establish new routines for what will be.

I always find it laughable when one banters on about resolutions they are making.  Sadly, it normally does not take more than a few days to have those resolutions pushed off into next year, a seeming abyss that in reality gets further and further away, the older one gets.

The best laid plans often lead to nothing absent a plan to make them work.  New Years resolutions are great ideas that rarely turn into change, and I for one think that is a shame.

The dictionary defines the root word of resolution, resolute, as follows:

Resolute - adjective - admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering

I like the sound of those words, if you failed to recognize it, those my friend are powerbroker words.  Admirable, purposeful, determined, unwavering.  

I don’t know about you, but those are words I want others to use when describing me.

But can I rock your world and thought process for a moment and suggest something.  In most cases, those probably are not the words used to describe you, are they?

Here is the thing. Resolution requires change.  Change is hard.  Complacency is always the easier path.  And before you know it, this new year will be over and you will be right back where you started.

Good ideas coupled with great intention that fails to garner results.

Might I be so bold as to suggest an alternative this year?  What would it take for you to actually make a resolution, and commit to it fully and see it to fruition so that it becomes a new normal in your life.

The experts suggest that new things take 2-3 weeks to become new habits.  In other words, if your resolution this year is to join (or return) to the gym, it will take 2-3 weeks of you being intentional about that for it to become a new normal.  If that resolution is giving up something, perhaps smoking or unhealthy food, it will take 2-3 weeks of not consuming those items for that new norm to develop.

Remember, I told you ahead of time that change is hard.  Real, life changing, course correcting change requires sacrifice and a commitment to establish a new normal that will in turn define the life you want to live.

I get it, it is not a lot of fun, and initially it will not be easy.  But if I know anything I know this, nothing in life worth doing is ever going to be easy.  And if you suck it up and recognize that it will take several weeks for these new habits to develop, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

So the challenge this week is really quite simple.  Rather than a flippant remark about what you are resolving to do in the upcoming new year, why not spend some time challenging yourself with the things you’d really like to see accomplished, and set some goals that see you living your life to its fullest not only in this upcoming year, but for years to come.

I promise you that the reward far outweighs the sacrifice, and to me, that sure does seem like a good resolution.

*****

Personal Success Coach is pleased to offer coaching packages starting at $299 per month.  Each session is intentional and deliberately designed with you in mind to address the issues important to you taking you from where you are in life to where you want to be.

You Give To Get

Merry Christmas.  This time of year is always so special, and although this season certainly has seemed rush given the short time in between Thanksgiving and now, it is always a joyous time, and sadly before you know it, it will be over and life, well at least normal life, returns.

I want to take a few minutes today to throw an idea at you.  If you missed it in the title, let me revisit an idea with you here.  You give, to get.  

Now, I know what you are thinking, giving should be unconditional, pure of motive, and strictly for the purpose of enriching another’s life.  Giving should be done expecting nothing in return, absent condition, and I agree with you 100%.

But there is a funny thing I learned a long time ago about giving, when you give, you get.  

For the purpose of our discussion today, I want to ignore physical gifts instead focusing on an item I consider to be the most valuable commodity you and I have, our time.

When you give of your time and talent in helping those around you, that investment comes back to you in droves.  There is something so fulfilling about that act of giving of yourself, I am constantly amazed how how large a return of investment those acts yield.

And the reality, when you choose to give of your time and talent, you typically do not do it seeking something in return, but the fact is, when you give, you are the one who almost always gains the bigger benefit.

The challenge is really simple this Christmas season, you are going to give something to someone, it is inevitable - why not package your gift with an investment of you - choosing to speak into other people lives to make their life, and yours better.

Sound simple enough?

I think it does.  

And if you have not yet found a place to invest your time and talent, I challenge you to make it a New Years Resolution.  Commit to finding something that you commit to, to enrich the lives of your community and the world you reside in.

Trust me on this one, next year this time you will reflect back on the massive ROI you saw for the time you willingly gave.  

And to me, that isn’t a half bad Christmas present to gift yourself.

Merry Christmas.

*****

Personal Success Coach is pleased to offer coaching packages starting at $299 per month.  Each session is intentional and deliberately designed with you in mind to address the issues important to you taking you from where you are in life to where you want to be.

Success Is More Fun Shared

Have you ever made it to the top?  Perhaps you are not sure of what I am referring to.  Have you ever made it to the top, the pinnacle of success, the peak of perhaps a career, or a life long accomplishment.  Those are the sort of ‘tops’ I am referring to.  So let me pose the question again, have you ever made it there?

Humor me, and allow me to ask another question.  When you got to the top, did you feel alone or were you surrounded by those who helped achieve that success that you now celebrate?

For me, it is a timely topic.  I recently had the opportunity to be a part of celebrating a friends success.  I, along with hundreds of other people all played a small role in their success, but in seeing them achieve that goal I can’t help but be proud to have been allowed to be a part of the process.

Success is awesome, and it is something we all seek.  Success alone however is hollow and lacks the substance that success shared with others brings.  The fact is, very rarely will a person achieve success all by themselves.  It is inevitable that many people played roles that allowed you to accomplish the things you want to accomplish.

I for one have been on both sides of that equation.  I have been fortunate to celebrate success with those who helped me achieve my goals, but likewise I have been involved as others sought the success desired for their life.

The amazing thing is both circumstances offer such fulfillment in life.  As I left the event that celebrated my friends success, I was honestly filled with pride and a true sense of accomplishment knowing that my bit role was important to the much larger picture.

Inversely, reflecting back I know that my successes in life would not have come were it not for the sacrifice and support of others invested in me and the vision outlined.  

As humans, we were not designed to do life alone.  Life is much better in community, and success simply comes as a byproduct of that community.  Are you connected in community?  Perhaps the better question might be, are you connected in community and working towards a common goal that will see you or others achieve success?

The challenge is really quite simple.  If you are the one seeking success in an area of life, embrace those that are there to support you.  And when you accomplish that item, recognize those that helped and share your joy with them.

Likewise, if you are part of someone else’s journey, embrace that time and put your all into it.  Be the person they need you to be, and do not be afraid to celebrate with them when they accomplish the item set out to be conquered.

I promise you, when you tackle life in that manner, life will reward you and truly make your life lived fuller and more complete.  And in the end, that helps to define success, no matter where you are at in your life right now.

*****

Personal Success Coach is pleased to offer coaching packages starting at $299 per month.  Each session is intentional and deliberately designed with you in mind to address the issues important to you taking you from where you are in life to where you want to be.

Preparation Is Kay

May I ask you a question?  How much time have you spent since this week planning for Christmas?  Please do not just answer without considering your answer, take a moment to reflect back to how much time you have actually spent planning for the upcoming holiday.

I get it, the holidays are a big deal, and require a lot of planning.  You are not alone, in our own house plans are being made, decorations being hung.  Consideration is being given as to who gifts will be given, and what those gifts will be.  Truth be told, as of this morning, my wife and I have not purchased a single item yet - for anyone!

I raise this question for a very specific reason.  I would like for you to stop and think for a moment how much time you will spend planning and preparing for Christmas, and then ask yourself if you are investing at least that amount of time and energy into planning for the upcoming new year.

At this moment in time I am either hearing crickets or conversation.  I have some friends that have not done any planning for Christmas, and yet when the topic of their life plan for the upcoming year, they will go on for hours talking about all the things they want to accomplish.

Let me be clear, I am in no way, shape, or form, suggesting that a well laid plan that includes the perfect present for that special someone is not important - but might I suggest a well laid plan for the next chapter of your life is of more significance and importance.

I spoke to a potential client several weeks ago, it was a cold contact that came as a result of a referral service I subscribe to.  During the conversation, the gentleman told me how screwed up his life was, how he lacked direction, and how he didn’t know what he wanted out of life.  

It only took a few minutes of this for me to recognize that for this individual, absent a plan his life would continue to track on the path it has thus far within his journey.  

Absent a plan, it is impossible to live life with intention and accomplish the things you want to accomplish within your life.  And just like the effort expended on making sure the holidays are perfect for those you love in your life, effort expended on creating a plan and sticking to pays enormous dividends for you and the ones you love.

The challenge is simple this week.  In between work, and family and all the other things that consume your time, spend a few minutes jotting down some ideas that you can formulate into a plan that allows you to not only end 2019 strong, but kick off 2020 with the momentum you need to own it and make your life the life you want it to be.

I promise you, the effort you spend making that plan will always pay bigger dividends than the time spent planning for the holidays.  Make today the day you get intentional about your life and its direction.

*****

Personal Success Coach is pleased to offer coaching packages starting at $299 per month.  Each session is intentional and deliberately designed with you in mind to address the issues important to you taking you from where you are in life to where you want to be.