P-A-S-S-I-O-N Tell Me What It Means To You, Actually Don’t Say Anything

This idea came to me a few years ago.  I was going some consulting on a small start up business focused on children.  The business was the creation of a married couple, and the wife declared herself and her role as sales & marketing.  Truth be told, she was neither good at sales or marketing, but for a season she was allowed free rein in her attempt to drive and increase sales.

It wasn’t until a meeting wherein the obvious was brought to the attention of all, that while she was currently filling the role of sales & marketing, the reality was there were much more competent and experienced people who should have been filling that role.  When I raised this fact with the team, her immediate was response was to get defensive, and then explain how passionate she was about sales & marketing.

Passion.  Its turned into such a toss up word, it is used by everyone everywhere.  A few weeks ago I had an associate tell me how passionate they thought I was in my coaching, I actually stopped them and told them how much I hated that word.  

Here’s the thing.  It is my opinion that if you need to tell others what you are passionate about, you probably aren’t that passionate to begin with.  If others don’t see that drive and intention about the thing it is you think you are passionate about, do you really have passion?

When a person eat, sleeps and drinks a particular thing, others take notice and realize that a true passion exists - and they don’t need you to tell them about your passion.  

I am unapologetic about this topic, and yes, I would expect some push back about the subject - perhaps I’m tainted by people I’ve been around who have cheapened the word - but in the end I’ll stand by my opinion and be ready to defend it.

Alternatively I offer the following.  If you are so deliberate and intentional about a skill or talent or field of work or charity, be so intentional and deliberate that others around you can’t help but know where your passion lies.  Let others identify the passion you hold and allow them to identify it in you.  

There are many things in life I enjoy, but few I am truly passionate about.  But if my passion matches or exceeds any verbal expression, I won’t have to say a word because my actions will scream it so loudly everyone else will see it and recognize it.

So go and have passion, no need to tell anyone - I promise you they will see it in you.

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Fork In The Road

The phone rang at 7:16pm Thursday evening, my wife and I were sitting in a concert and I texted that I would have to call back, but as is pretty typical when a phone call arrives at an odd time for the caller, I follow up with a, “is everything OK” text.

The response came back at once, “NO.”

I showed my wife the phone and she knew I would be stepping out to deal with an issue.

My friends wife had been arrested, charged with felony hit & run with injuries, along with a DUI.  I knew it was going to be a long night for everyone involved.  My friend was broken, almost in tears, said he could barely stand up, and was trying to the best of his ability to process what was going on.

I reached out to some people and within an hour had things moving in a positive direction.  I know the road ahead is going to a very long and expensive one for my friend, his wife and their family, but the elements and details that went into the evenings events weren’t anything I hadn’t heard before.

The reality is my friends wife is an alcoholic.  She has been for most of her life.  The only person who didn’t think she had a problem was her - but that all changed Thursday night.  Reality, and for that matter jail has a funny way of changing ones perspective.

After posting bail she was released from jail and I know it was a very long sleepless night for both of them as a new reality set it in.  Of course like most life events, especially ones that are bad or severe, the morning after is normally worse than the actual event, and I think that applies here.

I spent countless hours on the phone with them the following day discussing next steps on this  journey they were thrust into.  I am in no way, shape or form suggesting that I condone what happened - thankfully no one was seriously injured - but if there is a silver lining it is that both of them for the first time in their lives have to face head on the fact that she has a problem that could have turned out a lot worse.

I told them starting that day, this was their opportunity to start their lives new and afresh, they will still have a lot of stuff to deal with from the accident and subsequent charges.  Between bail and the attorney, they have already invested almost $20,000 of their life savings, and the fees and expenses are just getting started.  

This is their “fork in the road” moment.  They have a decision to make - keep things the way it has been for the last 20-years - or they can choose to embrace what has happened and make real substantive choices that will set their life on a different trajectory than what it was. The decision ultimately is theirs, and theirs alone to make.  Although the court and possibly even some jail time may mandate a treatment program to deal with the addiction, actually going all in on the program to make a real lasting change is theirs to make.  What I know and told them is simply this, she can’t do it on her own, she needs the support of everyone around her to beat this and come out better.

They have a decision to make this “investment” of bail, attorney, fees and fines etc to learn, or simply pay the fees and go on with the status quo.

Life is funny in that regard, I’m sure when she took that drink and headed out she wasn’t planning on hurting other people, her status quo was that she could handle it and her husband wasn’t strong enough to help her get the help she needed.  Status quo is a dangerous place to be, that “fork in the road” they are facing has 2 signs, one that says “Status quo - life as its been” or “New Life Ahead”.  

Those who have walked addiction journeys know that the status quo is in fact the easier route - but we all know how that outcome plays out.

As a Life Coach I don’t normally deal with these kind of issues.  I got the phone call that night because my friend didn’t know who else to call.  We’ve been friends for far too long for me to ignore him or not step up and help - however I was very clear with both of them that absent them making a severe course direction - I would not be there for them next time.

Call it what you want, I call it tough love.

The fact is we all have “fork in the road” moments throughout our lives.  How we deal with, and the course we choose is what defines us and our character.  I truly don’t know how this story will end, perhaps I’ll circle back to my friend and update you at a later date.

The takeaway is simple, when you come to that “fork in the road” in your life, the status quo may seem like the easier route to take, but history tells us that the course direction is the one that will yield the greater result and the better you.

To live your life to its fullest requires sacrifice, perseverance, and yes even some pain from time to time.  The you that comes out of those times is always better than the you that started the journey.  So this week, embrace your fork in the road moments and see them as the opportunity that they are.

(Did you know you can get Monday Morning Minute delivered to your inbox every Monday morning?  Go to PSCoachTN.com and register to have Monday Morning Minute waiting for you each Monday as you start your work week.)

*Just for the record. This post is in no way, shape or form meant to condone the behavior of my friends wife, what she did was wrong and she will pay a hefty penalty and possibly a little jail time - all deserved. The other party sustained some minor bruises, but will be OK. My friend and his wife will most likely be sued by the other party. The purpose of this post is to tell a story and illustrate a “fork in the road” moment.

Is Your Replacement In the Room With You?

Have you ever worked for a great leader?  You know the type, someone who challenges you to achieve your best.  Someone who identifies and cultivates talent across the team, perhaps even challenging you to work beyond what you think you are capable of.

Perhaps YOU are that leader.

Teaching, training, mentoring and ultimately raising up talent that is as good as, or better than you is truly a sign of a great leader.  Be it a collaborative or competitive (i.e. dog eat dog) environment, having a great manager or leader who recognizes the skills and talents of those they manage and being willing to pour into those people to in effect raise up talent that is as good or better than themselves is a rare commodity.

But what if that wasn’t the case?  How much more effective a leader would you be if you invest time and talent into those you work with allowing the raw talent to be developed to a point of excellence - even if that means you end up replacing yourself.  

The best leaders aren’t threatened but instead inspired by the talent they are surrounded by.

The best teams I’ve led in my professional life have always had people much smarter than me, and thankfully I’ve been smart enough to get out of the way, allowing that talent to flourish.  The team as a whole comes out stronger, more engaged, more productive producing a much better work product than otherwise possible.

And it has been my experience that when I’ve reached the limit of what I can do and someone else is better equipped to step into the role I occupy, another position or opportunity is presented that allows new challenges for me to tackle giving others the opportunity to take on the role I am leaving.

This week as you engage with the people on your team I’d encourage you to keep a keen eye out for your replacement.  Embrace them, enable them, encourage them, mentor them, most importantly learn from them.  

Having the ability to hone and develop talent makes for a great leader.  I promise you that if you start managing your team in such a way that they know that they have the prospect of one day replacing you, you will start to see a new spirit of innovation and teamwork that will move your team forward in ways never before imagined.

So go on, find your replacement.  You won’t find your next opportunity until you do.

(Did you know you can get Monday Morning Minute delivered to your inbox every Monday morning?  Go to PSCoachTN.com and register to have Monday Morning Minute waiting for you each Monday as you start your work week.)

Stop Living Life Like a Firefighter

Stop Living Life Like a Firefighter

I would wager a bet that you didn’t realize you were a firefighter.  Most people will never realize the truth that they live life as a firefighter.  I know what you are thinking, I’m not referring to a literal firefighter.  No, quite to the contrary, most people live their lives rushing from one crisis to the next, always reacting to the moment.

I don’t need to tell you how much stress that can bring to one's life.  Crisis management is a great skill, but certainly not one that needs to come into play day after day after day.  And yet day in and day out people rush around seeking to avert one crisis after another, never getting the time to stop given the need to react to crisis after crisis.

Have you ever heard the saying, “Lack of planning on your part does not equal a crisis for me”?

This concept is as relevant in your personal life as it is in your business life.

Living life intentionally and on purpose is a great way to get out of the role of firefighter and gain.  Proactively planning your life is a great way to start getting out of the reactionary lifestyle and makes for a much calmer day.  

An intentional life is one that is well thought out, planned and deliberate.  That doesn’t always mean a crisis can be averted, however when you seek to put structure and order into your life, the likelihood of a crisis is exponentially diminished.  Even better - when a crisis is presented - your intentional planning mitigates the circumstances leading to a better outcome than the people presenting the crisis expected.

So what is the takeaway?  

How about spending some time this week being intentional about your calendar.  Put your time to work for you.  

Own it.  

Master it.   

Most importantly make it your own.  Be intentional, be proactive, and hang up your firefighting suit once and for all.

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