It’s OK to be Likable

It almost seems to simple a concept, being a likable person, but the reality is the day to day execution on what should be a such a simple task is actually quite difficult.  But have you ever stopped to consider the value that exists in intentionally being a likable person each and every day.

The fact is, people like people who are likable.  But perhaps more importantly than that, people like being around likable people - they will go out of their way to surround themselves with people they like.

And I know what you are thinking...  Well duh!  

And of course you are right.  

If only it was that easy.

But it isn’t.  The fact is there are times when our own attitudes lend ourselves to be people others simply don’t like.  We all have bad days, it is inevitable - but if one of those days coincides with a day we need to be likable to a person influential to our lives, we in essence blow it and can potentially ruin an opportunity.

Your boss, your manager, your co-workers, your family, your friends - they all want to be around likable people.  And if you happen to be looking for work, that HR person sitting across the desk from you conducting the interview wants to hire someone they like.

Your boss wants to promote someone they like.

Your family wants to come home to someone they like.

Seems pretty simple, doesn’t it?

So as you start your day today, why not go out of your way to be a likable person to the people you are around.

I’d wager a guess and say it will pay dividends both in your life as well as the lives of people around you.

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It's the Effort You Give

One of the hurdles small business owners face is the challenge of having to wear many hats throughout a typical work week.  I was talking to a friend of mine this past week and he commented that along with everything else going on he needed to repair a toilet as it had stopped working.  

My initial response was that he should hire it out, but he noted that not only would that cost twice what it would cost him to do it himself, he simply enjoyed being able to take on the role of handyman from time to time.

It got me thinking though in terms of the optics that this “extra effort” demonstrated and if that had an effect on the team he employed.  He has asked his team to be “all in” on the initiatives and directives put in place that has set the business on a path to growth and continued success - and for the most part they are all in.

No one on the team wears the title of “handyman” nor does the owner, but seeing the guy who signs their paycheck roll up his sleeves and get to work repairing a toilet I believe sends a powerful message, one that we all can learn from or be reminded of this morning.

I’m a firm believer that when leading a team, the leaders sets the tone for the overall temperament of the members as well as the output levels.  If the leader slacks off the other members will follow suit.  If on the other hand the team members see the leader giving it their all, they will do the same.  This rings even truer in a small business environment.

The small business owner sets the output based on the output they demonstrate.  It is rare that the employees (or team members) set the pace.  When my friend demonstrated his willingness to roll up sleeves and work, even if it meant repairing a broken toilet his team noticed.

The office as a whole excels and each employee strives to go above and beyond because they have seen that attitude on display day in and day out by the owner.  

The idea this morning is really simple, great leaders lead by example.  There isn’t some great subliminal message or theory presented here.  Great leaders lead by example.

When I ran a general contracting company years ago, all new hires had to sign a code of conduct of which one of the primary points was simply this, We won’t ask you to do something we won’t do ourselves.

That approach to leading fosters great team members and creates an atmosphere that engages everyone and compels them to go above and beyond in their daily roles thereby creating a winning workplace.  In the case of my friend and his business, it also means all the toilets are functioning correctly as well.

As you start today, remember that the people you lead are watching you - so lead by example and watch your team flourish.

(Did you know you can get Monday Morning Minute delivered to your inbox every Monday morning?  Go to PSCoachTN.com and register to have Monday Morning Minute waiting for you each Monday as you start your work week.)

Small Ball - A Solid Approach to Sales

I have a friend named Matt who I have coached on and off for the last decade.  He is an extremely intense and ambitious person who met his match about 8 years ago when he took on a new role in sales with a new company.

Matt had always been in an administrative type of role, so taking on the new challenge proved difficult at first as it thrust him into a sales position - a position that was new and foreign to him.  As we discussed the initial job offer he had received, I encouraged him to accept the job because I knew he would be great as a sales person, and even though the initial base salary was very low compared to what he wanted to make, the upside potential was limitless.

Our coaching took on a unique role during his early days at the company, calling me very early each day while he was on his drive in to work.  He struggled at first to gain any meaningful traction noting that the other sales people at the company all had huge customers which would generate massive sales, while he struggled to find customers of his own that would help him achieve his quota.

I asked him if anyone was pursuing some of the many small customers I knew had to exist and he stated that no one there was working that angle having the majority of their time consumed by the big customers they all had.

Professional Poker Player Daniel Negreanu popularized a style of play called “Small Ball” - a system that involved being involved in a lot of hands - an approach that that set oneself up for being in the right place at the right time when a big hand developed during the game.  Knowing that Matt was an avid poker player himself, I suggested he adapt the small ball approach to his sales - being involved with a lot of customers at any given time affording him the opportunity to in effect be in the right place at the right time when a big sale would come.

I suggested to him that if his monthly sales quota was $100k, find 20 customers each capable of consistently producing $5000 a month in sales.  This approach quickly took root with Matt and soon he had built a solid book of reliable business consisting of small accounts each generating sales that added up to the numbers he needed to meet and exceed his quota.  

So what is the application for your life this week?

The takeaway is this, being involved in a lot of different deals can quickly add up to big numbers.  Treating sales quotas, projects or other obstacles in the Small Ball approach can help mitigate the initial feeling of being overwhelmed by the enormity of a project, and help in breaking it down into more manageable pieces that again when reassembled equate to a finished product, or sales goal.

To put it into different terms, I remember talking to a friend who was facing an enormous challenge in their life.  They really didn’t know how to approach the challenge.  I asked if they had ever heard the expression of how to eat an elephant.  They hadn’t, so I told them that the best to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

Whether you call the concept small ball or something different, the approach is solid and can lead to great success.

Matt went all in on his small ball approach to building his book of business.  Along the way, a few of those smaller customers turned into much larger clients, and now Matt has several people who work with him in a support role to assist in making sure each and every customer is taken care of.  Now almost 9 years into this role Matt has been the top salesman at the company almost every month, still relying on the small ball approach to his customer base.

This week as you start out look for areas in your life, be it personal or professional, that stepping back and using the small ball approach might prove more effective.  I use small ball in many areas of my life - it is effective and works.

(Did you know you can get Monday Morning Minute delivered to your inbox every Monday morning?  Go to PSCoachTN.com and register to have Monday Morning Minute waiting for you each Monday as you start your work week.)

The Right Place At the Right Time

I have a friend named Bill who started a company in the early 90’s that went gang busters almost from day one.  My friend was in the right place at the right time and had created a solution to a problem that no one knew existed, but from the moment they saw the solution they knew that it was a game changer.  Because of this innovation my friend saw almost instant success and a tremendous growth in terms of his bank account.  He sold out his shares in the company about 10 years ago, but the company he founded still thrives today and continues to revolutionize the industry it serves.  Bill was in the right place at the right time.

Another friend and mentor Gary would often tell me that he preferred being lucky over being smart.  I always thought that was a fun way to look at success, but he always followed up his lucky over smart comment by stating that he knew a lot of lucky people who were rich, but knew a lot more smart people who were broke.  I guess you would have to know Gary personally to get the full scope of his humor and commentary, and his time ended here far too soon so that is a privilege you will not get to enjoy.

His idea was correct.  Being in the right place at the right time is a form of luck.  Showing the skills and talents you have to a particular person or authority can propel your career to new formerly unimaginable heights.

Success is a interesting master.  Some people spend their wholes lives preparing for it, looking for it, craving it, chasing it - but never achieve it.  Others like my friend Bill, simply had a great idea and happened to be in the right place at the right time and was able to capitalize on it to make his fortune.  

Being in the right place at the right time.  That is a difficult thing to quantify .  It is not something that is taught in school.  There aren’t a lot of books that teach the skill.  The reality is, you can’t plan for it, but when you are there you know it and you have to act.  

Living in Nashville I run across people who are either in the music industry, or who want to be in the music industry.  Night after night they set up and practice their craft in bars and honky tonk’s all over Nashville.  Most will never get to the big leagues but every so often one is performing and gets noticed by a music exec who happens to be sitting in the audience that evening.  They experience that right place right time experience and are thrust into the limelight and enjoy immense success.  

That doesn’t mean all the others who play night in and night out aren’t as good as or better, just that they weren’t in the right place at the right time.

This week as you begin whatever it is that fills your calendar, take some time to look for those right place right time moments.  I am here to tell you that they are in fact all around you.  The opportunity to up your stock with the people you come into contact with gives you the opportunity to shine, you just have to be looking for the opportunity and then be able to act on it.

This doesn’t mean you will be the next superstar in your industry.  What it does do however is give you the opportunity to be noticed, being able to step up and shine when the opportunity presents itself gives you a leg up and a competitive edge.  It doesn’t matter if that edge is in the boardroom, the conference room, the stage of a local honky tonk or any other arena you might find yourself in.

My friend Bill was eating lunch with his then business partner discussing how they were going to finance their dream.  Unknown to him at the time at the very next table within earshot was an influential player in the industry my friend Bill was looking to break into.  That person overheard parts of the conversation and subsequently injected himself into the conversation.  That right place right time moment launched the company that my friend Bill founded.  

My friend Bill was luckier than he was smart.  He was in the right place at the right time.  As you go throughout your week be looking for those opportunities that allow you to be in the right place at the right time.  I promise you that if you look, you will find them.

(Did you know you can get Monday Morning Minute delivered to your inbox every Monday morning?  Go to PSCoachTN.com and register to have Monday Morning Minute waiting for you each Monday as you start your work week.)

Fork In The Road

The phone rang at 7:16pm Thursday evening, my wife and I were sitting in a concert and I texted that I would have to call back, but as is pretty typical when a phone call arrives at an odd time for the caller, I follow up with a, “is everything OK” text.

The response came back at once, “NO.”

I showed my wife the phone and she knew I would be stepping out to deal with an issue.

My friends wife had been arrested, charged with felony hit & run with injuries, along with a DUI.  I knew it was going to be a long night for everyone involved.  My friend was broken, almost in tears, said he could barely stand up, and was trying to the best of his ability to process what was going on.

I reached out to some people and within an hour had things moving in a positive direction.  I know the road ahead is going to a very long and expensive one for my friend, his wife and their family, but the elements and details that went into the evenings events weren’t anything I hadn’t heard before.

The reality is my friends wife is an alcoholic.  She has been for most of her life.  The only person who didn’t think she had a problem was her - but that all changed Thursday night.  Reality, and for that matter jail has a funny way of changing ones perspective.

After posting bail she was released from jail and I know it was a very long sleepless night for both of them as a new reality set it in.  Of course like most life events, especially ones that are bad or severe, the morning after is normally worse than the actual event, and I think that applies here.

I spent countless hours on the phone with them the following day discussing next steps on this  journey they were thrust into.  I am in no way, shape or form suggesting that I condone what happened - thankfully no one was seriously injured - but if there is a silver lining it is that both of them for the first time in their lives have to face head on the fact that she has a problem that could have turned out a lot worse.

I told them starting that day, this was their opportunity to start their lives new and afresh, they will still have a lot of stuff to deal with from the accident and subsequent charges.  Between bail and the attorney, they have already invested almost $20,000 of their life savings, and the fees and expenses are just getting started.  

This is their “fork in the road” moment.  They have a decision to make - keep things the way it has been for the last 20-years - or they can choose to embrace what has happened and make real substantive choices that will set their life on a different trajectory than what it was. The decision ultimately is theirs, and theirs alone to make.  Although the court and possibly even some jail time may mandate a treatment program to deal with the addiction, actually going all in on the program to make a real lasting change is theirs to make.  What I know and told them is simply this, she can’t do it on her own, she needs the support of everyone around her to beat this and come out better.

They have a decision to make this “investment” of bail, attorney, fees and fines etc to learn, or simply pay the fees and go on with the status quo.

Life is funny in that regard, I’m sure when she took that drink and headed out she wasn’t planning on hurting other people, her status quo was that she could handle it and her husband wasn’t strong enough to help her get the help she needed.  Status quo is a dangerous place to be, that “fork in the road” they are facing has 2 signs, one that says “Status quo - life as its been” or “New Life Ahead”.  

Those who have walked addiction journeys know that the status quo is in fact the easier route - but we all know how that outcome plays out.

As a Life Coach I don’t normally deal with these kind of issues.  I got the phone call that night because my friend didn’t know who else to call.  We’ve been friends for far too long for me to ignore him or not step up and help - however I was very clear with both of them that absent them making a severe course direction - I would not be there for them next time.

Call it what you want, I call it tough love.

The fact is we all have “fork in the road” moments throughout our lives.  How we deal with, and the course we choose is what defines us and our character.  I truly don’t know how this story will end, perhaps I’ll circle back to my friend and update you at a later date.

The takeaway is simple, when you come to that “fork in the road” in your life, the status quo may seem like the easier route to take, but history tells us that the course direction is the one that will yield the greater result and the better you.

To live your life to its fullest requires sacrifice, perseverance, and yes even some pain from time to time.  The you that comes out of those times is always better than the you that started the journey.  So this week, embrace your fork in the road moments and see them as the opportunity that they are.

(Did you know you can get Monday Morning Minute delivered to your inbox every Monday morning?  Go to PSCoachTN.com and register to have Monday Morning Minute waiting for you each Monday as you start your work week.)

*Just for the record. This post is in no way, shape or form meant to condone the behavior of my friends wife, what she did was wrong and she will pay a hefty penalty and possibly a little jail time - all deserved. The other party sustained some minor bruises, but will be OK. My friend and his wife will most likely be sued by the other party. The purpose of this post is to tell a story and illustrate a “fork in the road” moment.

Master Your Phone

I am working with a client right now, a small medical office with six staff members along with the Doctor who hired me.  We are 3 months in on the 6-month contract which has very specific and aggressive goals that the client wants to see accomplished.  As part of the strategy put in place, monthly meetings are held with the entire team to discuss milestones already accomplished as well as to regroup and keep the entire team focused on the stated goals while adding to and enhancing items already put into effect.

One of the challenges faced has been to get and keep the team engaged - sadly prior to my engagement with the client things were not very structured and each person did their own thing doing the bare minimum needed to get their individual jobs done.  The client simply allowed this to exist, which meant the staff ran the office with no clear plan or intention.

Last month during our monthly meeting it was apparent that personal phones and their usage within the office was a huge issue.  Constant texting and updating of social media accounts qualified as “work” while the actual business of the office took a backseat.  Worse than that, being able to prioritize what was important versus what could wait until later was a skill missing from the team, and when I suggested everyone put away their phones you could feel the chill settle in on the room.

Sadly I’d wager that we all are guilty of this to some extent.  Phones have become such a dominant component of who we are and how we live our lives, constant checking simply becomes a subconscious habit we aren’t even aware we are doing.  One thing I do is to put my phone face down with the ringer off when I’m in a meeting.  Confident that there is nothing that can come in during planned meeting times I choose to wait until the completion of the meeting to check and respond.

Absent that if I know I am waiting on a call or text that can’t wait I let the person I am meeting with know that I am expecting a specific call or text and that if it comes through during the meeting I will need to step away and respond.  I know that is not a perfect solution but at least it lets the other participants in a meeting know that you aren’t choosing the phone over them without good cause.

But take that thought one step further, how often does a call, text or e-mail occur that really can wait until later.  You know the one I’m talking about, the thing that doesn’t need your time or attention until later, or tomorrow or even next week, and yet we act as if we don’t respond right away the world will come to an end.

Learning to prioritize the events and needs of our lives makes us live better more effective lives.  Having the courage to make someone wait for us to respond knowing that our response time will not affect their outcome is hard, especially when it is a boss or manager who is making the request.  But ponder this, if you are working uninterrupted on the task at hand and complete it, you won’t have to come back to that task at a later date or have it remain open on your “to do” list thereby allowing you to give your full attention and thought to the person to whom you ignored earlier.  

By choosing to be deliberate and intentional about your time and how you respond respects not only your time and energy but others as well.  We’ve all had instances where we ignore a person only to circle back later to follow up with their request learning that they solved it without your involvement.

When I asked everyone to put away their phones I know they weren’t happy with me.  Knowing all future meetings would be a phone free environment did not make me the most popular person in the room, I’m sure their displeasure with me made at least one social media post.

However, the outcome of putting the phones away can’t be disputed.  Absent the distraction their phones provided produced a meeting time that had everyone engaged and participating in the stated agenda.  And the meeting finished early which is never a bad thing.

The client now has a “no phone” policy for the team during normal business hours.  That policy works well in this particular office as no one on the team needs their phone for any official business purpose.  That may not work with your team, but that doesn’t mean your team can’t be more aware and more effective of how and when they use their phone.

The phone and the ability to communicate in real time is a great tool, but so is a hammer.  Like any tool, when used incorrectly the tool becomes a liability for you and those around you.

I’d challenge you this week to manage your phone, don’t let it manage you.  It might just change your life.

(Did you know you can get Monday Morning Minute delivered to your inbox every Monday morning?  Go to PSCoachTN.com and register to have Monday Morning Minute waiting for you each Monday as you start your work week.)

Life’s Clock Never Stops...

“I really hate my job.”  It wasn’t a comment I hadn’t heard before, but as my brother in law and I were driving a few weeks ago, after having buried his mom (My wife’s mother), it just seemed like such a strange time and place to make such a bold proclamation.

But the more I thought about it, the setting was probably the most perfect time for it to be exclaimed.  The brevity of life as a loved one is laid to rest is a great time to pause and reflect back on one's own life.

Time is a brutal master, it marches on despite our best attempts to stop or at least slow it down.  It plays no favorites and is blind to social and economic factors.  The reality is simply this when your time is up - IT’S UP!

So I asked my brother in law why hasn’t he taken steps to cure his hatred of his job.  He has been at the same company for 20+ years, so I guess the complacency and familiarity of that breeds a certain level of contentedness.  But why not put himself out there and explore a new challenge.

The sad reality is most of us are afraid to take that next step.  We are more content to soldier on living a life of mediocrity then we are to be bold with our lives and live our lives to their fullest.  

Not being one to believe in coincidence, I can’t help but notice that today's Monday Morning Minute is being posted on Labor Day, a day set aside to honor the working men and women of our great country.

I’d like to challenge you, perhaps today in place of the barbecue and cold beer, spend a few minutes laying out the framework for the next chapter of your life.  I’d offer the following framework to begin the process:

#1. Where am I today?

#2. Where would I like to be a year from today?

#3. List 3-4 steps I can take to move me from the here and now to the place I want to be a year from now.

I know the whole “live like you are dying” idea has become quite cliched, but the idea is still a good one.  If you only had a year left on your clock, what changes would you make?

Sadly for my brother in law, he is more content to stay where he as it and complain about it than he is to actually make life-altering decisions.  But you don’t have to be that way.  I can’t think of a better day than today to start making the changes you want to make in your life to truly live your life to its fullest.

As a Life / Business Coach I work with people who have done exactly that.  They know they want more out of their lives (businesses) and they’ve intentionally taken steps to move towards those goals, dreams and desires.

How about making today the first day of the rest of your life and intentionally make a plan that sees you living your life to its fullest.

(Did you know you can get Monday Morning Minute delivered to your inbox every Monday morning?  Go to PSCoachTN.com and register to have Monday Morning Minute waiting for you each Monday as you start your work week.)

Is Your Replacement In the Room With You?

Have you ever worked for a great leader?  You know the type, someone who challenges you to achieve your best.  Someone who identifies and cultivates talent across the team, perhaps even challenging you to work beyond what you think you are capable of.

Perhaps YOU are that leader.

Teaching, training, mentoring and ultimately raising up talent that is as good as, or better than you is truly a sign of a great leader.  Be it a collaborative or competitive (i.e. dog eat dog) environment, having a great manager or leader who recognizes the skills and talents of those they manage and being willing to pour into those people to in effect raise up talent that is as good or better than themselves is a rare commodity.

But what if that wasn’t the case?  How much more effective a leader would you be if you invest time and talent into those you work with allowing the raw talent to be developed to a point of excellence - even if that means you end up replacing yourself.  

The best leaders aren’t threatened but instead inspired by the talent they are surrounded by.

The best teams I’ve led in my professional life have always had people much smarter than me, and thankfully I’ve been smart enough to get out of the way, allowing that talent to flourish.  The team as a whole comes out stronger, more engaged, more productive producing a much better work product than otherwise possible.

And it has been my experience that when I’ve reached the limit of what I can do and someone else is better equipped to step into the role I occupy, another position or opportunity is presented that allows new challenges for me to tackle giving others the opportunity to take on the role I am leaving.

This week as you engage with the people on your team I’d encourage you to keep a keen eye out for your replacement.  Embrace them, enable them, encourage them, mentor them, most importantly learn from them.  

Having the ability to hone and develop talent makes for a great leader.  I promise you that if you start managing your team in such a way that they know that they have the prospect of one day replacing you, you will start to see a new spirit of innovation and teamwork that will move your team forward in ways never before imagined.

So go on, find your replacement.  You won’t find your next opportunity until you do.

(Did you know you can get Monday Morning Minute delivered to your inbox every Monday morning?  Go to PSCoachTN.com and register to have Monday Morning Minute waiting for you each Monday as you start your work week.)